I wanted to do a post on the reasons that guys fail with women. I know it is important to identify the specific behaviors that should help you be successful, but you also need to know the behaviors that are holding you back.
1. You’re Desperate
Desperation isn’t something that anyone finds attractive and it comes down to a concept of value. Women inevitably view a huge portion of your value from your own self-esteem. Desperation is something that happens to people that don’t value themselves. That’s what people feel around a person that is desperate. You could be the hottest looking guy around, but if you’re desperate than you’re just breeding the feelings in a woman that lead to her feeling unattracted.
The key here is to like yourself and not act in a desperate manner to get someone into your life.
2. You’re Not Self-Interested
We’ve been taught our whole lives that selfishness is a bad thing, but I’m here to tell you that it is not. Everything you do in your life, you do for yourself. You don’t want a girlfriend in your life because your obligated too or you’re doing someone else a favor. You do it for yourself. You want someone to love, someone you can hold, talk to, share and just be with. I don’t know why I gave that specific example, because that’s not really what I’m aiming at.
You have to live a life you love, outside of women. If you’re not passionate about your life, than don’t expect others to be passionate about you. You have to live your life the way you always wanted to. It’s time to start living things you’ve dreamed of. Take some risks and make life interesting.
Women aren’t looking for a guy that likes women. They want a guy that is passionate about living their life and passion comes from living life you want to live.
3. You Take It Too Personally
You’re going to run into failures with anything. Anything that is worth achieving will have ups and downs, but winners are the ones that keep on going regardless. Not all women are going to respond to you positively.
Sometimes women just aren’t in the mood. That’s fine.
Sometimes women just aren’t in to you. That’s fine, everyone has a type.
Not all women are going to be in a good mood all the time. Just as you won’t.
4. You Under Estimate The Importance Of Dressing Nice
A lot of people try to suggest that you don’t have to worry about dressing nice. As long as you can properly talk, banter and tease you can get the girl. I’m not going to deny that is the case, but first impressions are hard things to escape.
What do you think comes off more positive? A guy that looked like he just came from the bowling alley or the well dressed young man? I think it’s obvious.
And I’d also like to point out that dressing better can have a huge impact on your life. I’ve known a lot of guys that were “nerds” that got a great haircut and started to dress better. They looked just like the other guys that we would associate as getting women.
I guess what I’m saying is that first impressions aren’t prerequisite for success, but the greatly improve your chances. Your chances of success are much higher when you walk into a conversation with someone that has a positive view of you.
5. You’re Trying Too Hard
I think trying hard is very important to success, but you have to recognize that there is a point you can cross where you’re causing more damage than good. I’ve seen a lot of guys try really hard to talk to women. The conversations seem very robotic. You’re not having fun this way.
You’re going to feel anxiety and a lot of other negative feelings, but there needs to be a part of you having fun too. Try to loosen up and remember that you’re doing this to have fun.