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I know there are a lot of you out there that get a huge feeling of shyness. It’s something that is overwhelming and can be at times crippling to your social interactions. I have been there too, but there are certain things that you have to recognize about this.
For me, shyness is actually not a personality trait, but an inexperience to social situations, as well as anxiety for what people might think of you. I noticed this about myself. I placed people into a social hierarchy in my head and my shyness was relevant to that. If people were placed above me, I was shy around them. If people were below me, I wasn’t shy.
This can easily be proven by the way you act around children. If you have to entertain some children, you’re not going to be shy because they’re just kids.
What I’m trying to tell you is that shyness isn’t ingrained in who you are. It’s really this hierarchy you set and where you place in it.
Normally the self-help gurus would try and teach you how to raise your ranks in the hierarchy, but that’s not what I’m going to tell you. What you need to do is let go of the hierarchy. You need to stop thinking about it.
3 Second Rule
If you want to talk to someone, give yourself three seconds to go over to talk to them. Yeah, that’s pressure, but there is a point to it. You don’t have enough time to think in 3 seconds. Shyness is thinking too much and this forces you into the moment, rather than staying in your head.
You just have to keep practicing. You’ll eventually mold yourself to a person that can talk to anyone.
