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I wanted to talk to you about the cure for shyness. I think everyone understands what the cure is, but most think the medicine is worse than the disease. We all know that the cure for shyness is to just get out there and talk. You’ll eventually get over it.
It’s tough at first. You have a lot of things going against you.
1. Inertia
This is Newton’s simple law; objects in motion – stay in motion, objects not moving – remain not moving. You’re stuck with the shyness and it can really be hard to get moving. It’s very easy to get stuck in the trap and not get anywhere.
2. Negative Reinforcement
What motivates change is positive reinforcement, but since you’re shy, you’re going to have awkward conversations and it’s going to make you feel worse.
3. Your Place, in the world
Every relationship you have, has a dynamic. You have a position in your family, in your work relationships, with your friends, etc. In all these environments, you’re the shy guy. That’s just who you are. And it is very hard to change how others perceive you and you’ll naturally go back to fit that position.
With all those issues going against you, you still have to push forward. There is just no way around it. You have to go out everyday for an hour or two and just talk to strangers. It’s going to be awkward. You’re going to feel weird. You feel that way because you’re out of your comfort zone.
The cure for shyness is when you recognize this awkwardness as part of the process. You have to make a pledge to do it day after day for months, no matter how awkward or weird you feel. Eventually you’ll break some barriers in your mind and suddenly it isn’t awkward anymore. It isn’t weird. You don’t feel like a creep talking to strangers at the mall.
