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I think one of the biggest turn offs for women are guys that seem to try hard to impress them. It’s not that you’re a bad guy, it’s just it screams insecurity. Chicks are into guys that are confident and when you’re really trying too hard, the insecurities really start to show.
Telling a guy to be confident isn’t that easy. It’s not like you can flick a switch and become confident. It’s something that happens to a person that is proud of themselves and doesn’t need to gloat about it. I’m sure everyone gets confidence and it’s just something that comes with time.
In the meantime, you might want to cut back on trying so hard. It just shows how insecure you really are. There is an unbelievable amount of things that guys will do and you just got to stop doing it.
Incongruence
This probably sums up everything that turns off a woman. All guys that try too hard are in some way incongruent with the image they’re presenting. It’s sort of sad because most of these guys won’t stop doing it. I applaud them for having the balls for putting themselves out there, but if you’ve ever seen a guy do it at a bar, you probably could feel it. Well, women are very good at feeling this incongruent behavior.
For example, if you’re trying to show a woman how much of an exciting life you live, but your body language comes off with no energy and your tonality is monotone, than you’re very incongruent and the people around you can feel it.
I’m sure you’ve met people that you thought were fake. Every time they come up and had a conversation with you, you’d slap on a friendly smile, but in the back of your head you were thinking they were weird. It’s just part of human nature.
Be Congruent
You may not live an exciting life and you may not think that you’re “cool”, but be congruent. You’re going to get further being real, than you will by being fake.
If you feel your life isn’t that exciting, you could always try something you never done before. Do something exciting and than you don’t have to be incongruent when you’re telling that story.
