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Let’s say that you went up and approached a woman that you’re attracted too. You end up starting a conversation with here and things seem to be going good. Maybe you asked for her opinion and she had some real great input for you to use. You can play with this for a little bit, but eventually you have to get into comfort building. You have to understand that you’re not going to hang around with someone that makes you uncomfortable. Even if you create tension the wrong way you can destroy any sort of comfort and she’ll run. A lot of guys don’t really understand the concept of building comfort or how to properly do it.
Comfort is really about rapport and commonalities. Obviously you need some sort of rapport, but a lot of guys don’t understand how to properly show the commonalities.
If she said she likes chocolate ice cream and you immediately say “WOW ME TOO”, you’re not exactly building any sort of commonalities.
Commonalities are much better demonstrated by understanding. I’ve heard a lot of women say that “he gets me.” That is the impression you want to create. You have to start learning to read people and listen to them. All conversations reveal great pieces of information about a person and you have to immediately identify that, so you can later do comfort building.
For example, let’s say you notice she’s holding her cellphone and you make the comment, “you seem to be very attached to your cell, let me ask you, if you were trapped in a locked room and just had enough battery power to call one person, who would you call?” She might say anything, but obviously you know the answer is going to be of a person she holds of value. You don’t even need to ask why (it doesn’t hurt to ask why though).
Knowing this information, you can later use it for comfort building. All you have to do is orient a story around her answer. Let’s say she said her mom, well, you can use your mom in a story and how she did something that made you respect her so much more.
That’s how you build the commonalities and essentially do your comfort building.
