Online Dating Tips

Smiling is one of the most important things that you need to do. A lot of guys forget to do it because they’re completely wrapped up in their head feeling nervous. “What will I say?”, “How will I approach her?”, “What will she think of me?”. The last thing on your mind is just putting on a friendly smile, but it’s something that you’re going to have to start doing or you’ll always have troubles.

A smile will show that your intentions are at least if in a friendly way, which is obviously the best way for them to be. As men, we can come off as intimidating and not smiling can be a sign that you’re upset or in a bad mood. No one is really going to open up to a person like that. A smile says that you’re happy, you’re in a good mood and you’re nice.

A smile is also an important part of looking attractive. Having a sour look on your face all the time isn’t exactly attractive. Showing that you’re a happy person that lives a happy life is attractive because people generally want to be around people that feel good. No one wants to hang around with negative people because they typically drag others down. We hang out with positive people because it makes us feel better. The same thing applies for smiles.

Make sure you’re smiling. Work on it if you have to.

Attraction is a very important part of the process. To really understand what things are like, you have to view it from the perspective of a female. They’re viewed based on how “hot” they are. It’s not that this is a bad thing because guys are very visual, but it’s something they put up with all the time. They’ll have guys always wanting to talk to them, always wanting to do things for them, etc. Any hot woman will have guys she calls friends that really do anything for them. You can call this “using”, but it’s just the way things are.

What a woman learns is that as long as she is hot, she can pretty much have whatever guy she wants. What this comes down to is a perception of value. Do you value things that you can easily get? No.

This is where being different at attraction comes in. She knows she is hot and you know she is hot. These are facts that both of you recognize in an interaction.

But here is how you do it differently…

You’re going to state to her that she is hot, but you’re looking for something else. “You’re beautiful, but there are a lot of beautiful women in this city. What else do you have going for you?”

The reason that this is so effective is that it frames things to a position of dominance. She will begin to qualify herself to you. She will try to explain to you why she is worthy to be with you.

Trust me, it works. There’s not too many guys that will approach her and tell her that they’re not really interested in how hot she is.

For some reason, some of us aren’t born/taught to understand the importance of touch. I was one of those people that just kept my hands to myself. I never stepped into people’s private bubbles to touch them. That was before understanding the importance of it. It’s more than just touching, it is connecting.

Physical connections are important. I’m not necessarily sure why it masters, so I suppose it is ingrained in our DNA. It’s just how we connect. If you expect to kiss a woman, you’re going to have to touch her before hand and let her get comfortable.

The first thing about touch is that you have to do it naturally. If it comes of perfectly natural, she’ll feel comfortable with it. If you do it in a natural and playful way, she’ll feel comfortable with it. When you do it in an awkward way, she’ll feel it. If you’re hesitating or making eye contact on where you want to touch, you’re just going to make her feel awkward. Obviously you’re going to feel a little awkward with this if you’re like me and haven’t done it in my past, but eventually it will become natural.

Secondly, you’ll want to vary your touching as things progress. Obviously early on you’ll keep things short and sweet. As she becomes more comfortable and as she shows more interest in you, you can start with longer and more intimate types of touch.

Lastly, try and use touch to enhance other things you’re doing. If you’re telling a story, just grab one of them and demonstrate whatever you’re talking about. It helps.

I’m sure everyone has heard of a wingman and typically view that as your friend that comes with you to a bar or something, when you just want to meet women. I wish it was that simple, but it is much more complicated. A wingman is actually there to help you have a better shot with a particular woman that you like and can be a vital weapon to have in places like bars. So this is my introduction of the wingman.

Disarming

Any hot woman you meet (especially at bars) has been talked to by other men that are trying to pick her up. In her shoes it gets a little annoying after a while. This is why you might run into a lot of rude women. It’s not that they’re rude because of you, it’s just that they have a shield up that is protecting them from all the men trying to pick them up.

The idea here is that your wingman is there to help you disarm her. You want the shield to come down, so you can have a conversation. How you do this is much more complicated and deserves it’s own friend.

The Girl’s Friend

Women of value rarely ever travel alone, so you’re always going to see her with her friends. It can sometimes be difficult to balance things out two or three other people. Plus you need the time to build some comfort (which happens one on one), so a wingman is there to provide attention to the friends, so you can work your magic.

This is really just a basic philosophical look at what a wingman is expected to do, but you should get a better idea. You’re not in competition, you’re just there to increase each others odds of success.

I thought I could do this to help you guys out a bit. I know most of us are busy and can’t visit every website we’d like to each day. I know I struggle with a lot of sites that I like. I thought on Fridays I would do a recap of this weeks posts, so you can take a peak through them while on the weekend.

Number Closing Women

I decided to do a post on actually get numbers. It isn’t as simple as “can I get your number?” There are some little things that I wanted to show you how to do properly to increase your successes.

How to Beat Your Fears

We all have fears when it comes to this and a lot of us don’t really know how to beat them. People buy books, and read blogs like this hoping that they’ll find some way to numb the pain of fear. Learn what I think is the appropriate thing to do and why.

Short or Long Dates?

Dates can be long and short, and everything in between. I’ve heard of successes both ways, but I give a breakdown of the pros and cons of each. I inevitably give a conclusion on which I find to work the best.

The Real Pick Up Lines That Work

I decided to talk about pick up lines, but not the lame ones you joke around with your friends. Basically, I’m talking about openers, which will help get you into conversations with groups of people.

Well, when you meet a woman, you obviously can’t talk to her forever. You’re going to have to separate because you both have other things to do, so you need away to communicate in the future. You need to get her contact information (phone number). A lot of guys over complicate this process, but it doesn’t have to be that difficult.

I think the first thing to note is that you don’t want to put people in the position to say no. This is just basic sales, for those of you that don’t already know. If you were to say “Can I get your number?”, you put her in a position to say no. It’s basically an out for her. If you say “Just write down your number”, you don’t put her in a position to say no. She can still say no, but psychologically it is much more difficult to do.

The pick up artist Style has a really good number closing methods that I like. Basically you just get someones business card (not your own), write your name and number on the back. Rip the card in half, hand her the card with the pen without saying anything. She’ll know that she is supposed to write her number. Exchange the pieces of paper. As you can tell in this situation, you don’t even ask.

There are some rules for number closing in general that you should know about. The most important is that you hang around for 5 more minutes to talk. The obvious reason for this is to make sure that you don’t come off as a person that was just looking for a phone number. It shows that you really like her.

It is also important to not ask too early. Some people say that you have to interactive for 20-40 minutes before you can ask for a number. That doesn’t have to be a continuous amount of time. It could be 5-10 mins at a time throughout the night at a bar.

Another important part about this is seeding something into your conversation, for a reason to get her number. If you talk about how you’re going surfing with friends tomorrow and how much you love it – during the conversation, you can always work that in. “Give me your number. You can tag along while I surf.”

If you’re reading this page than you’re in high school and are looking to know how to get a prom date. I suppose in the simple mindedness of high school this can seem like a tough task. When you get out of high school you’re realize how mind numbingly easy this is and how you have much more of an advantage of getting a date than you would outside of a school function.

Everyone Wants to Go

I think this is what makes it such an easy thing. No one really wants to be left out, both male and female. Everyone is just as insecure as you (even if they act confident) and all you really have to do is open your mouth and ask. Seriously, open your mouth and just ask because you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

On a side note, some of the girls that went to my prom went with dates they didn’t even like. They were asked and they couldn’t say no. That may not be a comforting thought, but the reality is that asking is probably a lot easier than you assume.

Possible Dates That Are a Year Younger

Only seniors get to go to prom, and sure that creates a lot of competition among seniors for dates, but there are plenty of people that are in high school that aren’t seniors yet that can make perfectly good dates. The best part is that it is just as easy to get a prom date by asking.

I remember we were trying to find a date for one of our buddies and he wasn’t exactly… good with the ladies. Found a very hot girl a year younger than him and she said she would go as long as he asked her.

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I guess the entire point I’m trying to make on how to get a prom date is just open your mouth and ask. The worst she can say is no (which puts you in the same situation you were in before asking) or yes, which is the goal.

A lot of guys struggle with the concept of a kiss at the end of a date and really don’t do things right. I’m not talking about the actual “kissing”. That’s for you to figure out on your own (and half the fun), but you have understand why you’re doing and when you shouldn’t do it. I’m sure you’ve seen the guy go in for a kiss at the end of a date, only to watch his date pull her head back in disgust. There are some fundamentals I think a lot of guys don’t seem to pick up on.

Watch Her Body Language During The Date

There is absolutely no reason why you should go in for a kiss and she pulls back. You should generally have an idea of how the date is going and how things between you are going, but I guess this isn’t always the case. If you’ve ever seen the show “Blind Date”, when after the date they talk to each person. I see a trend where the guy says “I really like her. I think the date went really good” and the woman will say “I hate him. I’ll never go out on a date again with them.”

Women speak volumes with their body language and it is amazing to me how many guys don’t pick up on it (I imagine because it can be subtle). Well, I guess the “I like you” body language can be subtle, but the “I don’t like you” body language is much more direct. If she’s look away from you, not making eye contact and doesn’t look like she’s having a good time than you’re probably not in a good place.

On the other hand, if she is leaning into you, touching you, smiling, playing with her hair, etc than she’s probably into you. Now these are things that you pick up on during the date.

There are other pieces of body language to pick up at the end up the date. If she’s looking for a kiss, she’ll inevitably drag out the last few seconds of the date. Let’s say you walk her up to her door and she has “trouble” getting her keys out of her purse… she’s probably looking for a kiss. The most direct form of body language for the kiss is her looking at your lips and than back up to your eyes. Obviously don’t attempt this if there has been earlier signs of good body language.

Sometimes You Just Have to Go For It

You need to be able to pick up on the body language that says that they hate you. Don’t try it in that case. A lot of times you’ll get mixed signals or you’ll be out with someone that is shy. Either way you may have a harder time figuring things out. Trying is important because if she’s expecting the kiss, she’ll get it. If she doesn’t want one, she’ll pull back. Yeah, the pull back might be tough to swallow, but the woman that expects the kiss will be happy.

I thought I’d try something a little different today that would help you reach a better dating life in just 30 days. Obviously reading this blog isn’t going to improve your dating life because action will only provide results. Well, I thought I’d give you the actions you need to do to be successful.

Days: 1 – 7

Starting slow is important and I think it is important to get the social muscles flexing. I’m not asking you to find a date. I’m not asking you to get phone numbers. All I want you to do is talk to people. It doesn’t matter if they’re male, female, young or old.

Basically, I want you to try and have at least 10 conversations with strangers. It is easy to talk to coworkers and other people you know (or semi-know). I want you to go up a stranger and have a conversation.

It can be a little tough talking to strangers, but make an effort to do it. Don’t worry about making mistakes because they’re just strangers.

Days: 8 – 14

This week I want you to do the same thing you did the first week, except you have to approach 10 strangers that you find attractive. Basically, someone you would view as dating material.

You still don’t have to get numbers or anything along those lines. I would ask you to try and do some flirting. If you’re familiar with flirting, I have written an article on how to flirt.

What you’re trying to accomplish this week is getting comfortable with talking to people you find attractive. It can be intimidating, so that’s why I want you to practice without the added pressure of having to get their number.

Days: 15 – 21

This is going to be the more fun/intimidating week because you’re now going to try to get yourself a date, but not an official date. I think the term people use to describe what I’m talking about is an “insta-date”. This is where you meet a woman at the mall, talk and than go for lunch at the food court.

The idea here is to have your conversation. You’ll want to tease and flirt like you were to do on the previous week. Than you want to change the venue that you are talking in.

For example, if you’re at the mall, an instant date would be going to another store. You could always get her to help you find clothing and things of that nature.

The idea here is to change the venue, but in such away that she is going to a new place with you. So it is sort of like a date.

Try to get a few insta-dates.

Days: 22 – 28

The last week will be the most challenging because you’re going to start asking for phone numbers. Please not that you can ask for numbers after an insta-date too, so there’s a lot of things you can do.

Basically this is the practice of finally pulling the trigger. It’s where you put yourself on the line and it’s just something you need to learn to do. I want you to try to get five phone numbers.

Days: 29 – 30

The is the last part where you’re going to phone up your number and have a date. Let me give you a piece of advice from a marketing point of view. The less pressure you put on a person for buying the better. That means if you come out and say “wanna go on a date?” she’s going to feel a lot of pressure.

Saying something like “I’m going down to the bowling ally, you can tag along if you want” comes off much less threatening. There’s no pressure and she is more likely to buy in.

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Obviously this challenge isn’t the easiest for most people and some will struggle more than others. That’s life. I gave numbers there and I believe they should be the minimum that you should try for, even if you’re really bad. If you’re good, try for much more. It never hurts.