Never Sacrifice Yourself

I mean sacrifice yourself in a larger sense. This is a big rule for me and I think it is important to have. I can best explain this by giving an example. Let’s say you’re in University and you meet this really great girl that you develop a relationship with. This is your last year of University and you’ve applied to graduate school. The best graduate program in the country has accepted you in. You’ll be working on things you’ve always been excited about, but you have to travel to the other side of the country.

What do you do? It amazes me how many guys will just go to graduate school at their current University because they want to stay with their girlfriend. It might seem nice, noble and sweet, but I just can’t do it.

If someone truly loves you and wants to see the best for you, than your girlfriend should support you going. Sacrificing a major opportunity for yourself is just wrong. The sad part is that if you do sacrifice, you’ll inevitably resent her for it and your relationship will turn sour.

I know it sounds cold, but it’s just reality.

No Coworkers

Do not get into relationships with people that are going to be around you if you were to break up. The odds of having a mutual breakup is slim and someone is probably going to be hurt. It just makes things awkward and weird.

No Crap or Undeserved Drama

This is another one of my special rules. There are some people that just seem to want attention, no matter what it is. This is something that needs to be nipped in the butt early in a relationship or they’ll learn it as an acceptable form of behavior.

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I’d like to point out that the rules here are applicable for both men and women. If you’re a female, you can apply these too. I wouldn’t expect a woman to sacrifice a great opportunity for a relationship. I’d hope you’d be in a relationship with someone that would support you doing that.

Why a person lies?

In a relationship, a person lies so they can avoid upsetting the person with them. It can also stop someone from leaving you. Everyone that lies in a relationship is trying to hold onto their relationship. Even if they were cheating and lied about it, they’re still holding onto the relationship.

What does this portray?

Basically this is a move that is nothing more than cowardice. It’s weak. It’s a loser thing to do. The fact that you have to hide something shows that you know it is bad, wrong and you’re just doing it for yourself at the expense of someone else.

What you shouldn’t have to lie?

As long as you’re open with your intentions of a relationship, than you’re the one in control and you’re the one confident enough to say it. A lot of women won’t like it, but they’ll at least respect your honesty. Some women will walk away and others will want to continue. Things like having an open relationship isn’t that difficult if you tell the person early on what you’re looking for.

There’s no need to lie about things like this. Lying shows that you’re just ashamed and confident men are not ashamed.

The only way this will work is if she feels the same way. Obviously in your friendship, you are attracted to her. You don’t see her as a friend, but a potential mate. She needs to feel the same way or you’re just not going to get anywhere. If she views you as a friend, than you’re a friend and that’s all you’ll ever be.

I think the only way that you can actually find out is just saying how you feel. There’s really no way around it. Remember that there is no turning back after this point. Unless she feels the same way your friendship is over. It’s not something personal or bad, it will just be too awkward to be friends anymore. These are things that you have to take into consideration.

You obviously don’t want to end up in this state. I’m sure a lot of women befriend guys they like with the hopes that they’ll confess their attraction to them, but as the time line extends the odds of this being true is false. I’d say you have a few weeks as friends to confess and this potentially working. Longer than that you can bet she believes you don’t think of her that way and she moves on.

I’ll first state what I believe. Not that I would try to get in this situation to begin with, but I would have to confess. I have enough friends, so I’m not really looking for another one to hang on. I’m willing to risk it for something more. I just think it is so important to not end up in this position. Going from the friend zone to something better can be nearly impossible.

The only way you can avoid this friend issue is to not befriend females you’d secretly like to have more with. Always show your intention. You don’t have to say things quite as directly, but letting them know you’re interested in them.

Now, I have an engineering background, so I can’t guarantee what I’m saying here for certainty, but I had to take a few classes in Anthropology to finish out my degree and we learned about the concept of “familiarity breeds contempt”. It’s just one of those concepts that really explains this and I really don’t know why. I don’t know why as humans that we happen to experience this, but we do. It’s like watching the same movie night after night or eating the same breakfast day after day. There is a point where you’re just going to get sick of it.

Since we’re humans, we can do specific things that change the experience. Keeping things fresh is a matter of doing something different. It’s really that simple. If you guys go out on dates doing the same thing you do every week, it’s familiar (and hence contempt for it). Do something completely different, even if you don’t like it.

Another thing you should be doing is working on your spontaneous muscle, so that you’re actually trying something new based completely on a spontaneous action. This sort of thing will charge up your relationship and bring more fun into the picture.

Getting Drunk On A Date (or With Her)

A very popular dating place is a bar. You just go in, sit at a table, have a few drinks and talk. The problem is when you drink too much and get drunk. It’s just not what anyone is interested in seeing.

Being On Your Cellphone

It is a date. Alright? It’s night time to text your friends to ask them where the party is. Just put your phone on vibrate. I’m sure if the role was reversed, you wouldn’t be happy that she is constantly getting called and talking on the phone in the middle of your dates.

Complaining/Whining/Insecurities

If you’re someone that is complaining about the bill, whining about your life or exhibiting insecurities, than you’re just turning her right off. One of the most insecure thing you can do is ask her what is wrong.

Trying too hard

Just stop trying to impress people. Alright? You don’t need to brag about your job, your money and how you climbed some big mountain. Don’t impress people, just try to have fun. That’s all people want.

The first thing you need to do is live your life and do the things that you like to do. It seems sort of counter intuitive. You have to first have to live and do the things that you want to do. You have to be in a happy state where you enjoy your life. No one really wants to be around someone that is depressing and desperate, so it is important to live your life and do the things that you want to do.

Women are everywhere and it’s matter of acting when the opportunity arises that counts. If you see someone woman at the grocery story that you’re in aw at, you have two choices; walk by or talk to her. It’s just the simple.

I hope the important thing you got out of my blog is that action is the only means for success, so hopefully you’ll choose to talk to her. Living a life you enjoy is something that will make your first impression, conversation, body language, value and over all attractiveness be higher.

I wish I could write more, but this is simply all you need to know. You first see her, than you make the choice to act.

Good luck.

Open Up

This is one of the scariest things a person can do. We live our lives hiding behind a mask. This mask is something that we show people in public, but it is also used to protect us from the judging that might occur if people know the real you. There are things deep inside of you that you feel, but haven’t told anyone. It can be tough to open up, but it is a prerequisite of intimate behavior. It’s something that you can learn to do by progressively doing it everyday. Tell a friend some deep down fear you have, even if it shows you as weak. This is what builds connections and you have to do it.

Touch

Physical touch has actually been proven to be something that will help you connect with someone. Think about how a great big hug makes you feel. The warmth and acceptance that is passed on in a non-verbal is really a connecting feeling. The idea of communication is to connect on as many levels as you possibly can. Touch is the easiest to do. Just reach out and touch someone while you’re talking. It might seem awkward at first, but you’ll get used to it.

Surprise

A surprise is always good because of the way it pumps chemicals in our brain. Sometimes surprising your wife with a romantic night out will recharge things. These happy chemicals that pump will be associated to the relationship. The surprise of the whole thing will build adrenalin. All these new feelings will give a high that is associated with the relationship. If you don’t have these surprising and spontaneous times, the relationship will get stagnant and mundane.

All these aspects are important to a successful relationship. You always have to open up the “real you” to someone. You need to reach out and physically touch someone. And you always have to be able to surprise someone to make them excited.