Do you want her to be interested in your dates or interested in you?

It’s all about what you do together that is what counts. It depends how interesting you are, rather than how interesting the date is. I’m telling you that the cheap skates have the best date ideas because it usually puts you in the best position.

Note: Don’t ask for a “date”. Words like hang out or tag along should be used.

Once of my most favorite dates is going grocery shopping. I’m not lying to you. Just ask her to meet you at the grocery store, get out a shopping cart and go grocery shopping (two birds with one stone). You can talk, banter, flirt, etc. The best part about this type of date is that you invite her back to your place, have something to eat or watch a movie. She’s at your place, so you’ve cut out a lot of the hard work.

There are other dates like this that you can do, so understand that they are about the easiest and best way to go.

The way you can tell the difference between the two is whether you guys are in a position to talk for the fun of the date or are you doing action for the fun of the date? If you were to go bowling, that would be an action date. If you were to go to a coffee shop, that would be a talking date.

I’m a big believer that early on in the dating sequences, your dates should be action oriented. There are a few reasons for this. Action dates tend to be more fun, higher emotions, more adrenaline, etc. Basically the more good things that are pumping chemically in the body, the more that feeling becomes associated with your presence.

Talking dates are great for learning about someone, but they don’t make good dates early on. If you want to bond as a person, you have to talk about more emotional and intimidate details. It can be hard for a person to open up on the first few dates. That means if you take someone to a coffee shop for a first date, you’re probably going to be talking about interview things like jobs and stuff. That doesn’t help you bond and that doesn’t create attraction.

Starting out, definitely go with the action dates because they’re fun and you’ll bond.

Short Dates

I’m a big fan of short dates because of a few reasons. One of the rules that I keep telling guys is that if you’re too available, than you’re just demonstrating that your time isn’t that valuable. A short date shows that you just have other things to do.

Another interesting thing here is that you can build anticipation and things of this nature. You can leave on a high point in the date and the anticipation will work in your favor.

You can also do things that are more adrenalin charged things on a shorter date and still end up on highs when you leave each other.

The con in this case is that you don’t have as much bonding time. Obviously the more time you spend with each other, the more you bond together.

Long Dates

Typically people that go on long dates don’t actually plan for it. It’s like going on a short date and than hanging out afterwords. Obviously the big benefit here is that you get more time to talk and more time to learn about each other.

I suppose you can add another positive in for flirting, teasing, role playing and touch more.

The problem I have with long dates is that you can’t keep them at an emotional high all the time. There are going to be low boring times, which can be bad for you. The dating ending on a low point is highly probable and that emotional low point will be associated with you.

Long dates probably work if she is really really into you, but I’ll leave that to you for figuring out. Other than that, just keep it short and sweet. End on a high point and keep building anticipation.

I think a lot of guys struggle to make their dates fun and it just is a self-fulfilling prophecy that gets them no where. It isn’t that hard to have a good time, you just need to breakout of the ordinary and understand what is fun.

1. Be Different

You can be traditional with your dates and you’ll probably be doing something that has been done many times before. Try something different for once. Do something that no other guy has done on a date before. Yes, you may be required to THINK about what you should be doing, but that’s okay.

2. Be Spontaneous

A lot of guys out there need to learn how to become spontaneous because it really isn’t that hard. It’s just doing something in the spur of the moment. At first, this will be difficult because you probably haven’t flexed those “spontaneous muscles”, but if you just keep trying to flex them they’ll get stronger.

3. Do Something You Want to Do

Here is a suggestion for you that will also fall under the spontaneous point and being different. I have a business card (not mine), which I have a list of all these different things that I want to do this year. Some points are larger than others, but range from things like sky diving to eating some sort of weird food.

When you first meet up for the date just hand her the card, tell her what it is and tell her to pick one. You’ll end up doing something that you want to do. You’ll be spontaneous and definitely different.

4. High Adrenalin Activities

It has been proven that when you have more extreme chemicals pumping in your body, you end up bonding at a much more emotional level. That means you should go and do something exciting. Get the adrenalin pumping through the blood.

Go to a gun range for a date. It’s unorthodox, but it will definitely be a high adrenalin activity.

5. Don’t Be A Planner (or come off as one)

You know when you have to entertain a child, you typically will have a planned out day for them. At least if you keep them busy, you don’t have to deal with them. This isn’t something that you want to create when you’re dating.

You can have a plan, but keep it very loose. It’s okay to get side tracked or do something spontaneous on the side.

1. Never Be Too Available

When you are desperate, you’re showing a lower value. If you were to book a time at a hairdresser and they were available at anytime. I suppose that would be good for your schedule, but it would show you that they aren’t that high value. People that have high value are booked up and it’s the same way with dating. If you’re available to date at anytime, than you’re just displaying that you have nothing else going on in your life that has value.

Date, but don’t be too available.

2. Be Honest

I think honesty is a very important part of dating and often being bluntly honest is a positive quality for you. Many people go on dates with people and they just naturally assume that it is exclusive. If you don’t view it the same way, than let them know. If you want to date casually, where you can date other people, let them know. Some women might not like this and others will be fine with it. There is absolutely no need to lie, so you can continue on dating. That’s just cowardly.

3. Dress Well

This is just a fundamental that all men should be applying regardless, but I think it needs to be mentioned here. You need to dress properly and that’s all there is too it. Dressing well shows that you value yourself. If you need help with the dressing side of things you can check out Kinowear. I’ve found this site to be an excellent resource for myself.

4. Enjoy Yourself

It seems like this should be an obvious point, but for some odd reason people don’t have fun. I really don’t understand this. I’m not sure if guys get the idea that they have to do a specific type of date or something, but you should be having fun. Plan to have fun, not a “date”.

5. Take The Pressure Off

This is going to seem like an anti-dating point, but I think it is fundamental to marketing. The less pressure you have for someone buying, the more likely they’ll buy. Sometimes the word “date” can be a pressured point where it can be hard to get someone to commit. I think asking someone to come on a date with you works a lot better if you remove the pressure. Something like this will work decently, “Hey, I’m going to xyz. You should tag along.” There isn’t any formal declaration of it being a date, even though that is what it is.

Obviously be this set up, you can see there are some huge problems and the biggest is that you only have 2 minutes. How do you make an impression in 2 minutes? How do you get to know someone in that amount of time?

Don’t Ask The Resume Questions

You can bet that just about every other guy there has asked the same old questions; What is your name? What do you do? etc. People aren’t defined by their job title, so why even start there.

Try asking something a little different. Something that will catch her off guard, but is still a fun question. “What did you want to be when you were a child?”

Body Language, Body Language, Body Language

Body language is important for any date, but it is extra important when you’re doing speed dating. You don’t have much in the verbal to make impressions, so it is your body language that has to speak. Put on a smile, sit up straight and push your chest out. Don’t forget about eye contact.

Touch

You may not have much time to bond, but when you physically touch a person you’re making a connection. I’m not saying “touch”, you have to not do this like a creep. Just make an appropriate touch when the conversation warrants it. Touch her arm, touch her shoulder. When you touch – you make a connection.

These are some very simple to follow speed dating advice and as usual it is typically the little things that are going to make the difference. Give speed dating a try and see if you like it. You may be surprised.

1. Kid Stuff – I’m talking about all the fun you could have bowling, mini golf and even laser tag. You don’t have to have such a serious date, it can be just completely retarded if you want it to be. Go to the beach and make a big monster sand castle. The point is to have some fun and take the edge off. It’s proven psychologically that you develop strong emotional connections with people you have fun with, so don’t be afraid to have fun.

2. Tagging Along – This is quite a great way to get a person to come out with you. Typically they’re not formal, they’re not long and there’s really no obligations. My personal favorite is grocery shopping. Invite someone to meet you at the grocery store and take them shopping with you. I know it’s sound sort of stupid, but you can generally start flirting and vibing with this. The cool part is that if things are going relatively good, you can invite her back to your place with very little resistance. If things aren’t going good, you can just say bye and it’s no big deal.

3. The Sites – It doesn’t usually cost much to look at stuff, and there is plenty of stuff to see around town. The best places to go would be the Zoo and museums. I prefer the zoo because it just seems less formal and less up tight. I’m not sure how others feel. Go where you’re most likely to vibe the best.

4. The Cheap Movie Theater – Every city should have a place like this and I hope you’ve been to one before because paying $9-12 to go see a movie is a complete rip off. There are usually different types of these cheap movie theaters. Some are going to cost like a dollar and they show older movies, but you can usually find ones that shows movies before they come out on DVD for just a couple bucks. Make sure you smuggle in something to eat, so you don’t get gouged for popcorn and stuff.

5. Happy Hour – I’m not really a fan of this type of date, but a lot of people like it this way. Happy hour means cheap drinks, so you don’t have to typically spend a lot of money to have a pretty casual date.