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I thought about the proper way to title this post and I think this is the most accurate way to put it. Look, I can’t tell you to be confident because that is something you’re going to feel. You can’t tell yourself to feel confident and no behavior will guarantee it. What I’ve learned about self confidence is that it is built on positive experience. When you exhibit the behaviors of self confidence, you ultimately end up having the positive experiences that lead to self confidence.
Talk Slow, Deep and Use Tonality
When I saw talk slow, don’t go to slow. The big problem with nervous people that lack confidence is that they talk really fast. They do this because they’re afraid someone won’t listen to them, so they try to get as much out as possible. Just consciously watch how you talk and just slow it down to a more normal pace.
Also try to use your voice and not your mouth. I know that sounds odd, but the voice should be pushed out of your voice box, not your mouth.
Lastly, vary your tonality to the actual conversation. You don’t want to sound like Ben Stein talking in one tone.
Don’t Panic
This is easier said than done, but it is something that you can learn from practice. Sometimes things won’t go as planned. Maybe you’ll be playfully bantering and she gets offended. Be calm, cool and collected. It will give you the best possible outcome.
No Fear
A confident person is someone that acts without giving a rational thought to the fear associated with it. Well, you’re going to have to do that too. We all feel fear, even the cool guy, but he acts even when he fears it. You can do that too.
