Online Dating Tips

Do you have a crush on someone? Crush is a word I don’t like. It’s not that I have a problem with the meaning behind it. I just have a problem with the people that use it. I don’t know what it is about the word crush, but it’s always used by people (both male and female) who like someone, but will probably never make a move.

I’ve noticed people that make moves don’t use the word crush. They’ll say they like them and they’ll try to get them. It may seem like semantics. Maybe I’m right and maybe I’m wrong, but either way I’m targeting you people that have a “crush” and don’t really know what to do.

People will often ask me what they should be talking about, what they should say, how to win her, etc etc etc. I suppose these are fair questions to ask if you have a crush. You definitely don’t want to screw it up because you’ll probably never get a second chance. I suppose that is a problem in itself, but I’ll continue.

Just Open Your Mouth…

Seriously, this isn’t rocket science. Talking to a person is a matter of opening your mouth and saying “hi”. Sure, with this being your “crush”, you might be understandably nervous, but you eventually have to make a move. That’s just the way it is. You just have to pull the trigger and see what happens. The pieces will fall where they fall. That’s life.

I don’t want to use the cliche that I hear often, but regret often feels worse over the long run than the short term pain of a rejection. It took me a while to understand this in my life. It wasn’t until I had someone add me on Facebook from high school, just to find out they were married.

All I had to do was take a shot, play a hand and see what would happen. Take that advice. If she rejects you, you at least tried. There are plenty of other women in the world and when you find another “crush” you won’t even care.

I thought about the proper way to title this post and I think this is the most accurate way to put it. Look, I can’t tell you to be confident because that is something you’re going to feel. You can’t tell yourself to feel confident and no behavior will guarantee it. What I’ve learned about self confidence is that it is built on positive experience. When you exhibit the behaviors of self confidence, you ultimately end up having the positive experiences that lead to self confidence.

Talk Slow, Deep and Use Tonality

When I saw talk slow, don’t go to slow. The big problem with nervous people that lack confidence is that they talk really fast. They do this because they’re afraid someone won’t listen to them, so they try to get as much out as possible. Just consciously watch how you talk and just slow it down to a more normal pace.

Also try to use your voice and not your mouth. I know that sounds odd, but the voice should be pushed out of your voice box, not your mouth.

Lastly, vary your tonality to the actual conversation. You don’t want to sound like Ben Stein talking in one tone.

Don’t Panic

This is easier said than done, but it is something that you can learn from practice. Sometimes things won’t go as planned. Maybe you’ll be playfully bantering and she gets offended. Be calm, cool and collected. It will give you the best possible outcome.

No Fear

A confident person is someone that acts without giving a rational thought to the fear associated with it. Well, you’re going to have to do that too. We all feel fear, even the cool guy, but he acts even when he fears it. You can do that too.

I’m a big fan of practice makes perfect and it is really the only way to learn in some situations. Talking to women and becoming a much more attractive male requires you to practice, but the problem is that you’re not going to be emotionally in the mood to do it. Some days you’re just not going to feel like going out to a mall and approaching women. It’s just something that you don’t want to do.

Don’t let these funks fool you. These are often the first steps to completely stopping, so you should definitely see them as a warning.

I hear people say that you should do positive affirmations, positive thinking, goal setting, reading goals, auto suggestion, etc. All this is self-help new age crap and I’ll tell you why: it doesn’t matter. The fact is that you’re not going to be in the mood all the time. You’re not always going to be in the perfect state. Getting to the perfect state then acting is the wrong way to approach this. You have to…

Act, Even If You Don’t Want Too

When you rely on your emotions and moods, than you’re just going to be a slave to them. This goes well beyond women. If you want to start a business, you’re going to have lows along the way. You need to get things done NOW, so get it done NOW, regardless of what you’re thinking.

People just want to change their mental state and act. They think that your emotions and feelings need to be curbed before you can be successful with action. This is totally false. Knowing what you want and acting regardless of how you feel is the only way to success. When you start acting, learning and discovering, you’ll see that your emotions change with it.

This may seem like such a stupid post for me to write, but a lot of people have trouble with this. I often give advice to people when talking to women about how they should tell a funny story from their life. I will always get the reply back about how they don’t do anything fun and interesting. I’ll admit, I can be like that too. I work way to often and use my off time to just take it easy. But you can get out of this type of thinking. I’ll show you how to be a fun person.

If You Feel Like Doing Something, Do It

This is the power of being spontaneous and it is fun, but after a while of not using it – you end up losing it. Normally our mind doesn’t think of anything worth doing. I’ve been so bored that I didn’t feel like doing something else. It takes sometime to get out of this funk, but the more you do it, the more you’ll pick up on it.

Let’s say you’re just sitting on the couch watching television and a thought pops into your head of shooting a gun at a driving range. GO! Go do it now. Maybe a thought of rock climbing. GO! Go do it. Paintballing? GO!

As Nike’s slogan goes, just do it.

Get Some Hobbies Outside of the House

Sometimes you just need to get out of the house and get around other people. Getting a hobby of this nature can be fun especially when you do it with other people. I highly recommend some sort of self-defense/martial art like Krav Maga.

Make a Promise to Do At Least One Fun Thing A Day

When I say fun, I don’t mean something stupid like laughing at a joke a coworker told you. I’m talking about something that is interesting. I’ll set a rule that you have to leave the house because going home after work and playing 5 hours of counter strike isn’t what I’m talking about.

I’m sure you can think of a few things. Like going to a hockey game where everyone on the ice is drunk. That is probably about one of the funniest things I’ve seen.