Online Dating Tips

There is this huge dynamic between men and women, that a lot of men don’t really understand. It’s extremely easy to sum up; you have to have to make the first move. It just the way it works. Most women won’t make the first move even if they want to because they don’t think it’s very “lady like” or that you just don’t like them.

Women are more biologically driven to play passive and reactive role in the male-female interaction. It’s just the way it works. Men are supposed to play the active role, leading role, etc. And for a lot of guys that are more passive themselves this can be a difficult thing to overcome.

The good news here is that if you have this issue with women, than you probably have this issue in your day-to-day life, so it can be worked on regardless of what you’re doing. For a lot of this dating stuff, you have to be out with the opposite sex, but this time you can do it on your own.

Start Making Choices

I’m sure you’ve been with a friend or someone else and you guys have a choice; go to A or go to b? You say, “I don’t care, whatever”. The other person says, “Well, I don’t care.” And the conversation goes on like that until someone makes the choice.

From now on, you’re not going to do that. When the choice of going to A or B comes up – just pick one. If you don’t care either way, just pick one because it is going to be the same.

Get used to this idea of making choices. It’ll pay off in your life regardless if you’re dating.

Do Something You’ve Always Wanted to Do, but Haven’t

Pretty simple thing. Most people get stuck in that place where they’re “feeling” something out and aren’t making a choice. You have to make that choice and sometimes you have to push yourself into it.

Maybe you wanted to go skydiving – well, go skydiving.
Maybe you wanted to start a home business – well, go to the government building to register a business, it costs $100, get over it.

Start making choices now and be assertive.

There is a really good saying that I heard. I don’t remember where it came from or who said it, but I thought it was pretty decent. “Fake it until you make it“. I’m sure you heard of Anthony Robbins who does that self-help stuff, he has said that if you do the physical actions of something you’d normal feel, than you’ll start to feel it. For example, if you’re having a down day and put on a smile, you’ll feel better.

Well, I don’t believe in the whole “positive thinking” and “The Secret” mentality that if you think it, it will manifest. I believe that actions change thinking and that’s what I want to do to help you get self confidence. Let’s be real, you can do all the positive thinking in the world, but it’s not going to give you confidence.

It’s Okay to be Unavailable

There are guys out there that will jump onto any piece of attention that comes there way from a female. This is what we call desperation and women have a real good eye for identifying this.

Here’s how a confident guy is – they have other things going on. If a girl calls you up and asks if you want to hang out, if you’re always available she’s going to assume that you don’t really have a life and you don’t have other things to do. It’s not a bad thing to say “sorry, I’m a little busy”.

This is the way you need to look at it; you have your life and women can be a part of it.

This is the wrong way to look at it; my life is getting a woman.

Don’t Talk so Fast

Talking fast is a way of saying that you lack confidence. The reason people do this is that they’re afraid people are going to lose attention and forget about them, so they just blurt it out as fast as possible.

Slow down and just speak slower. It can work in your favor because it can build anticipation. If you slow down and make pauses at the right times people will really gravitate to you.

Not Everyone Has to Like You

This was a hard one for me to get over. I was always trying to please people and be on their good side. I’m not sure if that constitutes a lack of self confidence, but it’s something that you need to learn. It’s a lose battle trying to stay on the good side of everyone. You start to end up living for others instead of yourself.

I hope these tips will help you become a self confident man.